I didn’t want this article from the Inquirer to disappear of the Internet. They were nice enough to give me a printed copy of it (on glossy paper thanks to “Aunt” Patty Smith). I just wanted to make sure I have an online record of it to.

Posted on Sun, Jul. 06, 2003

People | The power of one, via the Internet

His mentor and friend was ailing; his Web site drew thousands.

By Michael Vitez

When Brian Flounders was in eighth grade, he wrote an essay about the man he admired most – Mike Zabel, a close family friend who taught him how to play basketball and who became his traveling soccer coach.

Brian, 22, graduated in May from the University of Pennsylvania, where he majored in digital media design. He is the third of 10 children and lives in Havertown.

Last winter, he persuaded his parents to make the down payment on an old house in Wildwood Crest – and then worked out a deal in which he and all of his siblings pay the mortgage. He wrote out a 17-page document and got all 10 to sign it. Even the baby, 12-year-old Chris, chips in $50 a month.

Brian, who has long hair and a beard and often wears a bandana, has always been a family kind of guy, and Mike was always part of that family. For Brian’s senior project at Penn, he designed a Web site enabling the family to stay in touch.

On June 5, Mike, 45, father of six, soccer coach at Merion Mercy Academy in Merion Station, self-anointed “King of Fun,” suddenly fell gravely ill with pancreatitis.

The next day, he was moved to the intensive-care unit at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. Friends began to call the house: What can we do?

Brian wanted to help. On June 8, he decided to create a Web site: www.theflounders.com/zabel.

He stayed up all night working on it, which is nothing new for him. Earlier in the year, at Penn, he spent 46 hours straight working on a computer design project, sustained by only peanut-butter sandwiches.

Brian and his Web site became the clearinghouse for updates about Mike. Brian created a calendar on the site so friends could pick a day to bring dinner to Mike’s family in Ardmore.

Brian created a schedule so friends could sign up to sit with Mike in the hospital.

He wanted friends and family to be able to send Mike prayers and get-well wishes, so he modified the site so they could post comments. Over the next few days, hundreds of people posted remarks from across the country, as well as from England. More than half were from teenagers and children.

“You felt like you were connected,” said Pat Smith, Mike’s sister-in-law. “I never saw anything like it. It helped me a lot. It made me cry a lot. It was so overwhelming to see how much people cared.”

Brian made a few entries.

On June 9, he wrote: “Mike, Chrissy, Mike, Matt, Moira, Brigh, Shannon, and Bubba – I love you all – we are family. if you need anything at all, I’m around all day – til I decide I want to start working… that could take a while! Let me know, please. Even the smallest things, I’m here and have a thousand volunteers calling me to help with driving, cleaning, etc. Call me, honestly.”

Mike’s children also wrote. Brighid Zabel, 17, made this entry on June 16:

” ‘the sky is still the same unbelievable blue …’ always one of your favorite lines. it’s beautiful out today, dad. but the sun doesn’t shine the same without you here. you keep fighting because it gets harder each day…when i don’t hear the maxima speeding up the driveway with music BLASTING, when the american flag bandana lays folded in a drawer too long, when i don’t wake up to the smell of egg sandwiches being made for everyone, when i don’t have to leave a number where i’m sleeping over that night… you are so greatly missed, dad. keep fighting the good fight. whether we’re at your bedside, or laying in our own beds, our thoughts are with YOU, big guy.”

One night, the Zabels told Brian that the meals were awesome but that the kids would love some brownies. He put that on the site, and, the next morning, the family was deluged with brownies. The Zabels realized they’d better be careful what they tell Brian!

Sadly, Mike’s condition grew worse. On June 18, he died.

Brian put funeral plans on the Web site. He knew so many people would be at the service at St. Denis Church in Havertown, where the Flounder family first met the Zabels, that he arranged to have it broadcast on large video screens set up outside the church. More than 1,000 attended.

Mike’s widow, Christine, a physician, wanted to hold a potluck luncheon after the funeral, and she told Brian what she’d like people to bring. He created a sign-up sheet on the Web site to coordinate food for several hundred people.

Over 15 days, the site drew more than 900 postings and 20,000 hits.

“I’m tremendously grateful to Brian, but not overly surprised,” Christine said. “The whole family would do anything for anybody. That’s the way Brian was raised.”

Brian never expected his site to have the impact it did. At the funeral, people came up to him, calling him “Mr. Flounders” and thanking him.

“Brian is my hero,” said Pat Smith.

Brian’s mother, Jo Ann Flounders, is an oncology nurse practitioner. Every day, she deals with people at the end of life. “I have never seen anything like this,” she said of the Web site.

As for what her son accomplished, she said: “Shows you the power of one.”

Brian says it’s way too soon for him to think about expanding this idea, about helping other families. And he’s way too embarrassed to accept any praise. He’s still grieving over the loss of a man he loved.

Brian took his own little brother and the youngest Zabel child, Chris, down to Wildwood Crest for a few days last week to hit the water park and have some fun.

Brian said he’ll keep the site up for years so the Zabel children can always see how many people loved their dad.

It was weird to get a call from Mr. Vitez while I was at the shore with Bubba and my brother Chris. He called several times and left voicemail messages. Everytime I actually got a hold of him, and when he drove down for the interview, I snuck out on to the porch of the front house, out of Bubba’s hearing range. And I also thought it was weird that he never mentioned my dad in the article, since my dad and Mr. Z were best buds. Oh well.